Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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