I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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