Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
