he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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