How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
