So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Pants are for mortals
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
