she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
