But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
