I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
