I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
