That's intense
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Congratulations! We have a period
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