You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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