can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
