Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
