hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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