So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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