thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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