If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
