i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
