There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
