Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I queefed so loud it echoed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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