So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
