Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
