Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
