I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
