so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
