My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
