It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just threw up on my dentist
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
