she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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