lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
