you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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