did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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