It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
