Betty ford says i'm here all night
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's just like the Real World with babies
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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