You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All the doctor said was why
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
