The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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