don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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