very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
