I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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