she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
