bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
