I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
