I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
