Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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