You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
