She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
