It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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