Do you still have your period?
the condom got lost in my hair
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
