he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You ate ashes out of my bong
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
