Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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